I think about him all the time. I still have a hard time saying his name, or looking at his pictures, and his stuff is still the same as it was when we got it from the hospital, I can't seem to do anything but move it from place to place. So it sits, in the blue Texas Children's bags, untouched, but I think about him.All.the.time. I wonder what things would have been like, what I thought they were supposed to be like, twin outfits, a triple stroller for the boys, a van full of kids. Big man,little man, and middle man, that was how I pictured it, and it is hard for me to accept that God had other plans for my middle man.Bigger plans. Better plans. God answered my prayer for healing, not according to my plan, but to His. I am thankful to serve such a loving and merciful God. I am thankful to have been chosen for such an amazing journey, as painful as it is.