Do you ever feel like life is stuck on fast forward, and if you could only find the pause feature you could actually get a moment to catch your breath? Please if you find it, let me know.
I have put off updating after our meeting Friday because it wasn't exactly the news we were hoping to hear. When asked how the boys are doing, more often than not I find myself saying they are fine or good, and then I tell a few good updates, mostly about Myles. It just seems easier to tell the good parts rather than get into all the ugly details, and sad news that we get. Honestly, I don't have the option of falling apart, so putting on a brave face is what I do. However, at the meeting, we got the impression that the doctors don't believe Marcus will make it home, and that if he does, it will be so we can spend as much time with him as a family as we are able to. Saying that is difficult, actually processing it, is impossible. This is not the first time Marcus has been underestimated, and I have faith that it won't be the last. Marcus has shown us that he is a fighter, and he is not going to just give up. Thankfully, he has inherited his dad's fierce determination.

Marcus got a big boy bed and a mobile on Thursday.

and here is our big boy relaxing while he eats, I had moved his hand, and he promptly moved it right back to where he had it in the first place, as if to say stop it mom, I want it this way.
We have decided that Myles is waiting around for Marcus, he seems to refuse to come home. He will go a couple of days with no apnea episodes(which he has to have 7 consecutive days to be released) and then he will do it again, which of course starts the clock all over. That is absolutely the only thing keeping him in the hospital.

of course, once I woke him up I had to pull a paparazzi moment. this is proof that he does actually open his eyes from time to time, and though you can't really tell in this picture, his eyes are bright blue. I am hoping they stay that way.

A little half smile and he is back to sleep. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he sleeps so well once he comes home.